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1. “Come here often?” I am here five days a week and you just now notice me? Did you just wake up?_________________________________________________________________________
2. “What’s new?” I just woke up and the sun is not shining. There is not a damn thing new!
3. “[insert your recent weather condition here] enough for ya?” No, it is never enough!!! Please give me more! I really enjoy getting wet.
4. “How’s it hangin?”Nothing is hanging but more like sagging and gravity keeps pulling it down farther!
5. “How ’bout them [insert local sports team here]?” How in the hell can you like that team? They totally suck!
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